Oh, the irony. I am currently sitting about 10 feet away from somebody who is currently “slighting” me because she felt “slighted” by me last week.
People are funny things. When you break it down to it’s basic elements, we’re bags of flesh and bones powered by some sort of almost magical energy and controlled by chemicals. Yet we’ve evolved (although in some people that’s a questionable term) to see the human species as capable of rational-thought, invention, reason, and introspection. But at it’s core, we’re still controlled by a bowl full of chemical jello. And when the recipe is off somehow and there’s too much of one chemical, and/or too little of another – things can get ugly fast.
Hence my slighting. I’m currently the recipient of the product of the recipe being off. Way off. Like bi-polar off. And I’m not just using that term in exaggeration, I suspect it could be a medical diagnosis. I have complete sympathy and respect for anybody who lives with bi-polar disorder, and my issues with this particular individual have to do with the fact that there has been a complete refusal to deal with the symptoms (crippling anxiety, violent mood swings and outbursts, manipulative passive-aggressive behavior, destroyed relationships, the list goes on…). And this isn’t “denial” – there’s an awareness that there’s probably a condition. She just refuses to see anybody or take anything to help it. So my empathy has only gone so far, and that makes her mad. I was the target of her anger last week, I didn’t take it lying down, and now she’s mad at me.
And it’s strange how an entire environment changes when somebody is giving everybody else the silent treatment. Like, we’ve had days before where everybody has just been very busy working and didn’t talk much, but it was companionable silence. In this case, you can feel the tension. Even if you didn’t know something was going on, if you walked into the room, you would know that there was something wrong about it, and that’s what I find so fascinating. How can people sense something like that? There’s no reason why they would know from body language, or anything visual in the room, but you can definitely sense that she is mad and on the brink of a freak out.
So we’ll all tiptoe around her for a bit, not because we care about her feelings and don’t want to upset her, but because it’ll be awkward and annoying for us if she blows up. Then it’ll be one of two things, she’ll either slowly come back to the real world and we’ll know she’s back because she’ll do her hair nicely, or it will be all-of-a-sudden, and we’ll come in one day, could be tomorrow, and she’ll be all chipper and talking a mile-a-minute and being all efficient and shit.
It’s a roller coaster I’d like to get off of, and I can’t imagine how it must feel in her head – but especially to refuse any help. She’s always so eager for medical help for things that aren’t even real problems (but she always thinks are cancer) – I wonder why she’s so afraid of mental health help?
So I’m being slighted, but I don’t care. It’s better than being “greated” (I just made up the antonym 😉 by somebody like her, when she wants to be your best friend and you’re her confidante and nobody understands her like you, and blah, blah, blah.
Guess I’m feeling “slightly” annoyed.